The slow adult-ification of the Jellyvision office continues.

Innis and Allard (pictured) tried to move the giant set of teeth to the second floor but it got stuck halfway up the stairs.

Innis: It would fit if it weren't for the underbite.

Sarah and I went to the iO Holiday Party last night. Charna, the owner, closed down the theater for the night and served free chicken and ribs and offered an open bar (until 11, anyway).

I spent some time talking to Alex (left), from Whirled News, Jet (middle) and Steve. Jet and Steve recently became understudies for Second City's Touring Company.

Steve: We did a show in the Napa Valley.
Jet: Wine country.
Steve: It was amazing.
Jet: Beautiful scenery. Wine tasting. Hot tubs in our rooms. I was just excited to be in a hotel. I was jumping on the bed. "Hotel room!" I grew up kind of poor, so just normal hotel rooms are exciting to me.
Alex: [laughing] Well, I grew up really super ridiculously rich, and I think hotel rooms are great too. They're fucking awesome.
Steve: There were 200 channels on the television.

Later, Sarah and I talked to St. Clair, a performer in the current Second City ETC show.

St. Clair: It's like my theory about Second City shows. The first one you see blows you away and it's always your favorite. For me the first one was, 'The Psychopath Not Taken' and that will always be my favorite.

He used this as a metaphor to explain to Sarah why 'Gears of War,' the first XBox 360 game she'd played was her favorite XBox game.

Odd that so much of the evening was spent talking about Second City (I wonder if they talk much about iO at the Second City Holiday Party). Odd that it's come up so much on my blog. Or at all. Second City is the most famous comedy theater in Chicago and for many it's the pinnacle of a Chicago comedy career, but it has very little to do with my own creative life. I've always been respectfully disinterested. Probably that's just a defense mechanism. If I don't audition, I won't get rejected.

Still, last week I signed up for my first Second City audition. Even if they asked (and who says they would) I wouldn't be willing to give up my job to do TourCo. Maybe sometime down the line, though, when things get less crazy, I could take a sabbatical and do a Second City Cruise. With all the random opportunities the theater offers, it's dumb that over the last six years I've never auditioned there. Plus, it could make interesting fodder for my blog.

See how carefully I've shielded myself from the inevitable rejection? This is an amusing lark for my blog!

What was I talking about again? [sips at beer] Oh yes, Merry Christmas iO.

Sarah, my girlfriend, has been making some extra money on the weekends by dressing up as Mrs. Claus at a mall in the suburbs. She got the gig through ComedySportz, a theater that is very good at hooking its performers up with promotional work. She works with Prouty, who plays the Nutcracker Prince.

Sarah: We've had a couple different Santas.
Prouty: We've had Creepy Santa, Fast Santa...
Me: Which Santa did you have today?
Prouty: New Santa.
Sarah: We've never seen this Santa before.

They keep the kids organized in the Santa line and do a skit retelling the story of the Nutcracker (with added moments of karate).

Sarah: I've had a couple parents joke that I look too young and thin to be Mrs. Claus.
Prouty: "Oh no! I'm too young and thin!"
Me: Just tell them you're not Santa's first wife.

Diplomat Motel rehearsal.

Timmy: You know, I check out your blog every Monday, and I'm like, "Oh, let's see here. Where's Timmy?" I do a little keyword search. "Let's see. Is there a 'timmy'? No."
Trupe: Then you put in TM?
Timmy: Yes, then I put in TM. No. Hmm. Maybe he's got me under T-Bone.
Me: T-Bone?
Timmy: No T-Bone. So I type in... maybe he's got me under Knick-Knack Paddy-Whack...
Me: That doesn't even make any sense...
Timmy: Put me in your blog, Arnie!

My oldest sister, Julie, sent me this picture from Ohio of my nephews, Ty and Will.

They are wearing basketball jerseys for the college team that my Dad coaches. I don't know if you follow sports (I mostly don't) but you may have heard about the small Division II basketball team that beat Ohio State University in a preseason exhibition game. That was my dad's team.

Ty and Will's favorite new game is to pretend like they're running out of the locker room onto the court or field before a sporting event. I got to see it while I was home over Thanksgiving. They go into the next room, and my brother-in-law, Matt, yells, in his best announcer voice, "Introducing, number 1, Tyyyyyyyyyy!!!" They run out, everyone claps, then they go back and do it again.

Matt: It was Ty's idea in the first place. One day he whispered, "Dad, dad, announce me. I'm going into the other room. Announce me." It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about.
Dad: It's a big moment when the players come out. Everyone's watching and cheering. Kids love it. It's the drama.

After tonight's Whirled News show, Chin (far right), the director and original creator of the show, gave Christmas gifts to the cast (those of us who were there, anyway, attendance for most shows gets a little sparse around the holidays). Awesome black hooded sweatshirts with the Whirled News Tonight logo over the heart.

Glynn: Thanks. This is so much more useful than the journals we got last year.
Me: I'm rarely introspective, but I'm often cold.
Shane: They say "2008."
Eddie: They're from the future!

The vast majority of the shows in the downstairs theater at iO are completely improvised, which is to say, completely made up on the spot, with no script. Each show is different and new.

Except for the host. There's no script telling you what to say when you open a night of improv at iO, but most hosts say, almost word for word, the same things.

"Hello, welcome to the iO Theater. By applause, how many of you are here for the first time?" Some hosts will ask for a show of hands, but applause is better. It doesn't really matter who's never been to a show before and applause pumps some energy into the room.

"Well, you're in for a treat. You're about to see some long form improvisation. Each group is going to come to you, the audience, for one suggestion. They'll then take that suggestion and use it for inspiration for various characters and scenes and games." This is where the host is most likely to get lost. Most people don't know what long form improv is (as opposed to short form games), and although it's not really all that complex an idea on the surface (one suggestion and then anything goes) it's natural for a host to feel like they need to further explain it, or even subtly defend it. They may throw in phrases like, "themes," "interweaving," "more than the sum of its parts," and sometimes, if they're really nervous, "art." Usually, though, it's best to quickly move on to, "All of it made up on the spot, giving you a show that has never been seen before, and will never be seen again."

"We're not just a theater. We're also a bar." There may be some patter with the bartender about what the specials are and about how the host is "definitely going to order that drink as soon as I get off stage." About half the hosts throw in the joke, "The more you drink, the funnier we get." It always gets a laugh and is not untrue, but I'm not a big fan of it. Every once in a while a host may throw out a joke about there being no drink minimum but no maximum either. Legally speaking, this is not strictly true.

The piano player is introduced ("improvising with us all night, on the keys..." or sometimes, "the most important improviser in the room...") and the first group is brought on stage.

At the end of the show, the host thanks everyone, and encourages the audience to tip the wait staff. "They appreciate your applause, but they appreciate your tips even more. They use that money for little things like food and rent." Some hosts add, "and drugs" to the end of that for a laugh, and at least one frequent hosts goes one further by adding, "like insulin."

Finally, the host may plug whatever show is up next, and they'll usually plug the theater's training center. "If you thought this looked like fun and you think you'd like to do it, you can. We're not just a theater," and a bar, "we're also a training center. All of the performers up here tonight have taken our classes. For more information grab a brochure at the box office or visit us on the web at..." and then the host usually can't remember if the address ends in com or net. It's net.

It rarely deviates from that. And despite the fact that most of the hosts are very experienced improvisers, when it does deviate from the "script" it often goes badly.

I've never hosted.

Work holiday party. Everyone in the office voted on what we should do for the party. Go-karts and kareoke lost, and a private party at the super fancy (and expensive) restaurant, Moto, won.

We had a ten course meal of small gourmet concoctions. The first thing that came out, besides the large number of wine glasses (different wines for different courses) was an edible menu.

Amanda: The menu looks good.
Steve-o: [nibbling at the bottom of the menu] Am I the only one that's eating dessert first?

There were several jokes about the fact that on the menu, the first course was listed as "greek salad" and the second as "greek salad, again." But neither of the first two courses were actually salads. Each was a dramatically different dish that tasted a surprising amount like greek salad. And that was the idea of the place, things that taste like other things.

I honestly couldn't describe most of it. One course was a biscotti and coffee but the biscotti tasted like coffee and vice versa. Another was a piece of paper with a picture of cotton candy on it that tasted like cotton candy.

I generally like simple foods. I've never really "gotten" fine dining. But I Iiked the meal a lot. Each bite was an experience, ten separate little culinary magic tricks.

The video, titled 'Wishlist,' was shot by Anderson (left) and Rick (right).

Rick: I actually haven't been to iO in over a year. My wife gave me the ultimatum. I have three things. Home, work, which is this video stuff, and improv. She said, "Pick two. And make sure it's the right two."

Spent the day shooting a video with Steve (another Whirled News cast member) for a local contest.

Me: I know it's too late now, but what's your honest assessment of the accent I've been doing?
Steve: It's fine. How's mine?
Me: Good. I just have a tough time sustaining any kind of accent.
Steve: I have no idea where we're from. We're, like, Brooklyn-Chicago-Boston cops.

Later, we had to park for a few minutes in an alley next to a playground full of kids.

Me: Uh... do you realize that we're two guys in a car wearing...
Steve: Yep.
Me: ... next to a park full of...
Steve: Yep. This is weird.