Christmas Eve with my Dad's extended family.

Grandpa Paul hands out presents to all the kids. Then it's time for the gag gifts. Golf shirts that read, "Get Some Balls." Things like that. Browns fans get Bengals shirts and vice versa.

Years ago one of my relatives had the bad luck to, shortly after hemorrhoid surgery, shit the bed while staying at someone else's house. Every year since he's gotten some kind of poop-related gift. Toilet paper. Adult diapers. This was the first year that he didn't get one. So maybe some embarrassing jokes do die down with time. After, say, a decade.

Finally there's the White Elephant exchange. Gifts are opened, gifts are stolen. I don't participate because I don't fish, golf or follow sports in general. You can see my dad at the top of the picture examining a present carefully before choosing it. He tends to have bad luck in the exchange.

Dad: This could be a fishing pole... but it could be a plunger. You have to be careful.

It was a fishing pole. But it was eventually stolen. The next gift he opened was the DVD 'Harold and Maude.'

Dad: What's this? Hey, anybody want to steal this? Nobody?

I tried to tell him that it's actually a pretty decent movie, but my description didn't sound appealing to anyone.

Mom: Maybe there's money hidden inside.